The questionof standards versus boundaries comes up quite frequently in coaching. When you are about to set a higher standard for your life or firmer boundaries, these two words become very important. Why? Because the energy you want to embody while you set the higher standard or new boundary is going to dictate if it is sustainable.
When you think of the word “boundary” what immediately comes to mind? Most would typically respond with, “It keeps something out, or prevents something bad from happening.”
The energy this word embodies usually has people tensing up and thinking that they have to implement their new boundary with force. They have to make sure that the new boundary isn’t disrespected. This usually brings up a lot of anxiety on how they will implement these changes with their loved ones and others in their life.
Now, when you think of the word “standard” what immediately comes to mind? Most respond with, “A standard of excellence, what is acceptable or of high value.
This is something that they can be in control of. For example; if we speak about the standards by which they treat other people, there is a sense of pride and calmness that starts to radiate from them. They are in complete control of how they do their job, how they take care of their family, maintain their home, etc., all of which exists within their own realm of control and influence. A standard is something that is put into action.
If you have a friend who is constantly negative and drains your energy every time you get together and if this is not the standard for friendships in your life, you then have a choice with where that friend exists in your life. You can decide in what situations you see this friend and the duration for the interaction with them.
The wonderful thing with standards is this is not something you have to force onto others. This is a standard for living for your own life. When your standards are energetically in alignment for your highest good, then you don’t have to argue, strive, or force others to acknowledge them. You just have to live them. As you live them, you will see others rise up to that energy of being. For those that cannot, then you can decide what role if any they have in your life.
Think of your standards of excellence you embody and where those are not being met in your life. Where do you sacrifice your own standards of excellence for keeping the peace? If you stayed firmly rooted in your standards what would happen? Standards are lived with calm and firm integrity. A standard by definition is a model of authority or excellence. If you have to implement a really firm boundary then it is always first established with a standard for your life. This creates sustainable change and success.
A good exercise is writing out your standards of being and then start to implement them with the energy of excellence. Then watch how your life will transform into a state of flow rather than strife.
Have a beautiful day and reach out to us if you would like to create new standards in your life.
-Soulful Wellness
