We all exist within inner and outer worlds.
The inner world is where our deepest thoughts, emotions, experiences, energies, and gut feelings reside. The innermost place is where we hide and aren’t always honest to others about ourselves. This hidden honesty can be due to a myriad of reasons, ranging from being fearful of being misunderstood and our deepest truths not being heard, to fear of getting into an argument, to fear of being rejected or abandoned.
The outside world is where we normally display ourselves for others’ benefit. We will put a smile on our face and act as if everything is good but we are simply portraying what we imagine how others would like us to be.
Inner and outer worlds collide because we create a situations where they do not align. We have a churning on the inside which is not shared with the outside so our truths are buried and go unheard. This creates a reality of loneliness, isolation, and depression. It can also result in distrust within all relationships, especially the ones that are the closest to us and which are meant to be complete with meaningful connection and fulfillment.
The following is an example of how the inner world doesn’t match the outer world:
In horse therapy with an abusive relationship survivor, the person may be asked something from the previous relationship or about the abuse which creates a tension and dread within their inner world and core emotion. But, when the survivor goes to approach the horse, she puts a smile on her face and speaks gently. The horse will stomp, toss it’s head and back away from her. WHY? The horse has a sixth sense regarding the emotions at the inner core of a person and knows that what she is presenting on the outside does not match on any level with what is happening internally. The horse sees this as a dangerous and untrustworthy situation, possibly even nipping and trying to bite the person if they get to close.
However, if the rider let’s the outside world reflect her internal world by acknowledging her authentic feelings by allowing tears to flow or expressing her anger, (whatever the true core emotion is), the horse will stand silently and allow her to approach. It will lower it’s head, lick it’s lips and stop dancing around. WHY? The person’s inner world is fully manifested into the outer world and it is finally aligning with truth. There is no information that it is at odds with the other, and the horse can trust the information it is receiving as honest, truthful and trustworthy.
We as humans need to build the same amount of trust within our relationships and friendships. It is imperative that we be honest with our inner worlds so they can be reflected in our outer worlds, thus building a very firm foundation of trust.
If we are in situations or around people where we cannot have full trust or we become fearful of the result of our honesty, we are presented with an area to heal through coaching. Coming out of abusive circumstances where honesty was not possible, it can take time to heal in order to learn to trust ourselves and those we CHOOSE to have within our inner circle. Coaching has a crucial part to play in the healing process.
Our inner worlds will always manifest into our outer worlds. Whether that is through anger, depression, moodiness, irritability etc. Most people will deny their inner feelings until the somatic tension becomes so extreme that it finally expresses itself, often resulting in self-destructive ways, and deeply affecting others around them.
Remember: we are designed for deep soulful connections but the only way to be truly seen, heard and validated is by having the courage and authenticity to be honest about our inner worlds. Doing this will allow our true relationships, friendships and acquaintances to thrive and grow to a place where we feel supported, fully seen, and loved for the amazing souls we are.
Our inner worlds are everything that we truly are and it is supposed to be valued and appreciated for its vastness of being, for it’s timeless wisdom and truth. Share your inner world to create a healthier and more fulfilling life.
We are here if you need any help with combining your worlds for your most authentic self.
-Soulful Wellness
