Journal

In life we often get into the habit of making our decisions solely from the more masculine energy of the head or by the feminine energy of the heart space. Rarely are we engaging both when we sit with a situation or circumstance.

We forget to check in with our feelings about our process and we make a decision that intellectually might seem good but in fact could be completely out of alignment with our heart. This is very connected to a trauma response within decision making, where we only use our intellect and never check in with our heart. On the flip side, there can be decisions we make only from our heart and do not think through logically.

The best decision making happens when both are in alignment for our highest good. That can only be when we engage both of these energies. When aligned they are very anabolic in nature. It takes both logic (head) and intuition (heart) to come into alignment with your highest soul choices.

Let’s explore both of these energies:

Head/Masculine Energy –

• Logic and decision making
• Singularity of purpose and direction
• Solution-based thinking
• Controlling and pursuing
• Competition and ambition
• Strategy and rationality
• Striving and reasoning
• Linear process

Heart/Feminine Energy –

• Intuition
• Compassion and grace
• Emotions and feelings
• Trusting in natural outcomes
• Connection and peace
• Inner Truth resides
• Nurturing
• Flowing process

At the end of any decision when we are looking to establish clarity and balance, it requires us to possess both of these energies to achieve ultimate balance. To problem solve from the intellect of the head and then drop into the heart space to see how it feels and what our intuition is telling us, brings about decisions that align with who we really are.

You will feel more empowered and have a stronger sense of clarity when you make decisions by using both your head and your heart. This helps you to access the higher levels of anabolic energy and creates solutions that are balanced and aligned for your life.

We are here to help you navigate how to engage both head and heart so you can feel at peace when making decisions.

• Soulful Wellness

How do you create solutions?

There are many times in life that we get stuck in our heads trying to find the right solutions to obstacles we are facing. Many of us have a habit of going inward to figure things out and ruminating in our own minds. When the answers do not come swiftly enough for our liking, we enter into a state that propels our emotions into a downward spiral that is unhealthy for our well-being.

A statement in Dr. Ramani’s new book, IT’S NOT YOU: IDENTIFYING AND HEALING FROM NARCISSISTIC PEOPLE states: “Rumination without solution is depression.”

Many of us relate to this statement and have experienced it on some level. When we ruminate on something for too long without a solution, it can cause us to descend into depression, anxiety, loneliness, and fear.

So, how do we create solutions with greater ease in order to experience breakthroughs? It can vary greatly, depending on your specific personality and your way of being in the world. A life coach can be extremely helpful in your process but here are but a few ideas:

• Go outside into nature and absorb it all by breathing in some good endorphins. Science has proven that being in nature aids in your cognitive abilities. It improves your mood, mental health, and emotional well-being. It literally helps you be happier.
• Speak with a trusted confidant, whether that be a close friend, family member, therapist, or coach. We are all designed for connection with others and sometimes all we need is to simply gain a fresh perspective by talking it out with a trusted companion.
• Exercise. Go for a walk, run, hike, swim, do yoga, dance, or play a sport. Regardless of which exercise you choose, it has the benefits of reducing stress levels, promoting better sleep, boosting your energy as well as your ability to mentally focus.

These are just a few examples that can aid in your energetic levels rising. When you feel stuck in the energetic frequency of depression, anxiety or fear, you cannot and will not see the possibilities and solutions available to you.

By shifting your energy levels into a place that strengthens and helps you come alive again with hope, faith and joy, you will see infinite opportunities and possibilities on how to move forward.

If you need help in talking something out and finding a transformative solution, we are here to help you. Don’t stay in rumination without a solution!

• Soulful Wellness

WHAT PRICE DO OTHERS PAY TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU?

That question has created a lot of thought and change within my world recently. In my opinion, it is one of the most powerful questions that we can ask ourselves.

How do you act and react to others within your sphere of influence on a daily basis? Are you consistent in your demeanor and essence or are you erratic? Are you kind and compassionate or angry and spiteful? Are you sporadic in your actions or dependable? Is the theme of your communication negative or positive?

The way that we show up within our friendships and relationships either adds value to the other person or it tears them down and drains them of energy.

It is completely acceptable to have feelings and to speak about what is going on inside our hearts when needed. At the same time, if you look at the picture of your life, what comes out as the largest percentage of your essence? Is it negative or positive, draining or uplifting, fear based or hope and faith inspired? Are your facial features relaxed and at peace or scrunched up and frustrated? Are your thoughts and actions aligned with adding value to the person you are speaking with? Do you care about what they have to say or are you solely for yourself?

We are always conveying a very specific presence and energy to those we encounter. Energy attracts like energy. For example, Walking down the sidewalk and smiling at people has the effect of others smiling back at you and wanting to have conversations. On the flip side, if you walk down the same sidewalk with an angry scowl on your face, others will actively avoid you.

Those people within the closest heart space to you whom you interact with consistently (whether a spouse, significant other, parents, children) experience you as your most authentic self. Do you show up for them from a healed place of being or are there areas in your life that still require healing? What about those areas that rear their ugly head when you are not at peace and are experiencing stress? What does this do to the people around you? Do they shut down and go inward to avoid conflict or do they yell back at you? What is the feedback you are getting from them in the moment and the moments afterward?

What price are you willing to pay to be in a relationship with those currently around you? What price are they paying to be in relationship with you? What needs to change in how you show up?

Letting others know that you are open to hearing feedback about how you show up and what their experience is of you will give a profound glimpse into how you are coming across and the price others are paying to be around you. You can add great value and peace to someone’s life but it is all in how you choose to be and whether you are doing the necessary soul work to heal your own wounds. By doing the soul searching necessary to heal past hurts, we are then able to be in others’ lives with love, authenticity and peace. We can heal instead of damage one another.

How do you want to shift and change your manner of being in order to be a beacon of steadiness in your actions? How deeply do you desire to be dependable in your moods, having strength in your spirit with joy and peace in your presentation to others?

There are always more ways in which we can improve our essence.

We are here to help you heal and shift where needed on your journey to wholeness and ultimate wellbeing.

• Soulful Wellness

Recently there has been a lot of discussion on Authenticity vs Love and which one is of a higher frequency. This has provided an interesting deep dive into the unique place that each holds within the emotional spectrum.

Thoughts and emotions vibrate at certain frequencies of energy which directly impact our overall physical and emotional well-being.For example, authenticity and love vibrate at a much higher frequency than fear and anger.

The “SPANE” Scale of emotion, which is a conceptual scale developed by Ed Diener et al. in 2009, measures the intensity and frequency of emotions. The Spane Scale placed authenticity at a higher frequency than love. Truthfully, how can you deeply love yourself or others with purity of intention if you are not being 100% authentically yourself?

Many of us have been taught to be people pleasers and have conformed our natural states of being to fit into external expectations. These are our conditioned behaviors that drain us of energy and prevent us from reaching our full potential, and authentic relationships. Showing up this way in the world conflicts directly with our true, authentic selves.

On the other hand, when our internal world aligns with our external actions, we in fact reduce internal conflict resulting in higher states of wellbeing and harmony in our relationships, with authentic love being manifested. We are then able to foster a sense of inner peace and resiliency by trusting our soul’s inner compass and are once again aligned with our innermost values, personality, spirit, and character.

Studies have indicated that individual’s who are living authentically tend to have higher self-esteem, lower stress-levels, deeper & more satisfying relationships, and better psychological health. Authenticity fosters within you a sense of peace and secure belonging. In it’s highest form, authenticity enhances the experience of love, which causes our emotional bonds to become profoundly genuine. Reason being: Energy Attracts Like Energy.

Authenticity is being true to your soul. Embracing your soul’s authenticity can be a challenging journey but it will also become one of the most rewarding journeys you can embark upon.

We are here to support you on your path to discovering your most authentic and loving self.

• Soulful Wellness

Have you ever used visualization to manifest specific outcomes in your life?

Most people that we speak with think that visualization is something that has only been used by athletes. Very few people outside of the athletic world have tapped into the power of positive visualization.

We show all of our clients how to do this successfully in their own lives, regardless of their backgrounds or life experiences. Why? Because, science has proven that the way the neurons fire within our brains, there is little to no difference in a powerful visualization and the actual experience of physically performing something.

Many athletes have used visualization for attaining new
techniques or before big games or matches. I used to spend 1-3 hours a day broken up into 15-30 minute sessions visualizing the very same. The accomplishments of the desired outcomes happened with more ease and quickened the timing of the desired results. Whether it’s sports or your personal life, visualization can help you achieve your desired outcome that much quicker.

You can use positive visualization for anything and everything in your life from the spiritual, emotional, social, mental, or physical worlds. It’s amazing the power and influence it has over every aspect of your well-being.

This will help empower you with everything in life. You may want to emanate a stronger sense of self and authenticity, you may want to get rid of a bad habit that is no longer serving you and you have a need to create and establish a new habit.

Visualization with the positive energetic feeling attached to it will help you to attain those new habits, dreams, and goals much quicker and with more ease. How does visualization empower you? Everything we create in our lives happens first within our thoughts. Thoughts and the energy always precedes any type of personal manifestation. You can change your attitudes about anything in your life by consciously visualizing it first.

If you are creating something new for yourself, a new way of being and existing in the world, or even interacting with others, using visualization will get you the desired result. Continue to consistently visualize what you want and couple it with the energetic frequency that establishes the new way of being and it will align to become a reality in your physical world.

Empower yourself to become your most authentic self by using the power of visualization.

We are here to assist you in learning how to visualize for your highest timeline and dreams.

-Soulful Wellness

There is so much talk today about self-love and/or loving yourself. We hear what it is and what it’s supposed to look like. Things like taking a vacation, getting a spa day, going to play golf, or anything else that brings you happiness and raises your energetic frequency are all defined as self love because you are in a state of bliss as it’s happening. Although these things can definitely aid in your energy and happiness, this is normally a feeling that flees once the experience ends.

So, we ask the all-encompassing question—WHAT IS SELF LOVE?

True self-love is formed by deciding to commit to doing the really deep inner work of transforming all of your trauma’s and drama’s from your entire life into healing and into an energy that actively works for you instead of against you.

It takes real courage to face the pits and valleys of your life in order to transform them. Many times these are the most painful and wounded parts of our psyches, the parts you shy away from facing due to the depths of the pain therein. You may have been a victim and have lost sight of who and what you truly are at your divine core.

When you don’t heal your wounds, then addictions and old behavior patterns can set in on different levels. People get addicted to many kinds of things because they have lost the self love in the area where the trauma has been. Your traumas will cloud any self love you try to create by external means so you must heal those traumas and transform them into something powerful from the inside, out.

Once you do this, you can then see how truly strong and courageous your soul has been to survive what you have endured. Although battle scarred, you can turn those experiences into your most healed and wonderful places of being.

This is the meaning of truly loving yourself: when you love and honor yourself enough to refuse to allow past traumas and dramas to run your life and emotions, consciously or unconsciously.

Recognize that you are a soul of immense value and you deserve to give yourself unconditional love, support, protection and honor. The physical world will then mirror back to you that same frequency. You can heal and your true essence will come out of hiding. Love yourself enough to face and heal your deepest and most profound wounds.

Being determined to heal life’s traumas creates the greatest self love and freedom. You get back to your authentic divine template and your soul will flourish, unhindered and unafraid, and you will become unshakeable at your core.

Once your healing has occurred, then added spa days, golfing days, beach days etc., are just the added joys of celebrating your amazing soul because, you have loved yourself enough to become whole once again.

This is a life-long process because life continues to throw us curve balls to face with truth and to heal from. But as you continue this journey, your life will flourish into the energetic frequencies that can literally change the world. Your own healing catapults a frequency of healing and wholeness back into the broken parts of the this world.

The greatest form of self-love is facing your dramas and traumas so you can become whole.

We are here to accompany you on your journey of self love and transformation.

-Soulful Wellness

We all exist within inner and outer worlds.

The inner world is where our deepest thoughts, emotions, experiences, energies, and gut feelings reside. The innermost place is where we hide and aren’t always honest to others about ourselves. This hidden honesty can be due to a myriad of reasons, ranging from being fearful of being misunderstood and our deepest truths not being heard, to fear of getting into an argument, to fear of being rejected or abandoned.

The outside world is where we normally display ourselves for others’ benefit. We will put a smile on our face and act as if everything is good but we are simply portraying what we imagine how others would like us to be.

Inner and outer worlds collide because we create a situations where they do not align. We have a churning on the inside which is not shared with the outside so our truths are buried and go unheard. This creates a reality of loneliness, isolation, and depression. It can also result in distrust within all relationships, especially the ones that are the closest to us and which are meant to be complete with meaningful connection and fulfillment.

The following is an example of how the inner world doesn’t match the outer world:

In horse therapy with an abusive relationship survivor, the person may be asked something from the previous relationship or about the abuse which creates a tension and dread within their inner world and core emotion. But, when the survivor goes to approach the horse, she puts a smile on her face and speaks gently. The horse will stomp, toss it’s head and back away from her. WHY? The horse has a sixth sense regarding the emotions at the inner core of a person and knows that what she is presenting on the outside does not match on any level with what is happening internally. The horse sees this as a dangerous and untrustworthy situation, possibly even nipping and trying to bite the person if they get to close.

However, if the rider let’s the outside world reflect her internal world by acknowledging her authentic feelings by allowing tears to flow or expressing her anger, (whatever the true core emotion is), the horse will stand silently and allow her to approach. It will lower it’s head, lick it’s lips and stop dancing around. WHY? The person’s inner world is fully manifested into the outer world and it is finally aligning with truth. There is no information that it is at odds with the other, and the horse can trust the information it is receiving as honest, truthful and trustworthy.

We as humans need to build the same amount of trust within our relationships and friendships. It is imperative that we be honest with our inner worlds so they can be reflected in our outer worlds, thus building a very firm foundation of trust.

If we are in situations or around people where we cannot have full trust or we become fearful of the result of our honesty, we are presented with an area to heal through coaching. Coming out of abusive circumstances where honesty was not possible, it can take time to heal in order to learn to trust ourselves and those we CHOOSE to have within our inner circle. Coaching has a crucial part to play in the healing process.

Our inner worlds will always manifest into our outer worlds. Whether that is through anger, depression, moodiness, irritability etc. Most people will deny their inner feelings until the somatic tension becomes so extreme that it finally expresses itself, often resulting in self-destructive ways, and deeply affecting others around them.

Remember: we are designed for deep soulful connections but the only way to be truly seen, heard and validated is by having the courage and authenticity to be honest about our inner worlds. Doing this will allow our true relationships, friendships and acquaintances to thrive and grow to a place where we feel supported, fully seen, and loved for the amazing souls we are.

Our inner worlds are everything that we truly are and it is supposed to be valued and appreciated for its vastness of being, for it’s timeless wisdom and truth. Share your inner world to create a healthier and more fulfilling life.

We are here if you need any help with combining your worlds for your most authentic self.

-Soulful Wellness