Soulful Wellness

Life Coaching, Counseling, Mental Wellness, | South Carolina, USA

Soulful Wellness

What is Self-Love?

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There is so much talk today about self-love and/or loving yourself. We hear what it is and what it’s supposed to look like. Things like taking a vacation, getting a spa day, going to play golf, or anything else that brings you happiness and raises your energetic frequency are all defined as self love because you are in a state of bliss as it’s happening. Although these things can definitely aid in your energy and happiness, this is normally a feeling that flees once the experience ends.

So, we ask the all-encompassing question—WHAT IS SELF LOVE?

True self-love is formed by deciding to commit to doing the really deep inner work of transforming all of your trauma’s and drama’s from your entire life into healing and into an energy that actively works for you instead of against you.

It takes real courage to face the pits and valleys of your life in order to transform them. Many times these are the most painful and wounded parts of our psyches, the parts you shy away from facing due to the depths of the pain therein. You may have been a victim and have lost sight of who and what you truly are at your divine core.

When you don’t heal your wounds, then addictions and old behavior patterns can set in on different levels. People get addicted to many kinds of things because they have lost the self love in the area where the trauma has been. Your traumas will cloud any self love you try to create by external means so you must heal those traumas and transform them into something powerful from the inside, out.

Once you do this, you can then see how truly strong and courageous your soul has been to survive what you have endured. Although battle scarred, you can turn those experiences into your most healed and wonderful places of being.

This is the meaning of truly loving yourself: when you love and honor yourself enough to refuse to allow past traumas and dramas to run your life and emotions, consciously or unconsciously.

Recognize that you are a soul of immense value and you deserve to give yourself unconditional love, support, protection and honor. The physical world will then mirror back to you that same frequency. You can heal and your true essence will come out of hiding. Love yourself enough to face and heal your deepest and most profound wounds.

Being determined to heal life’s traumas creates the greatest self love and freedom. You get back to your authentic divine template and your soul will flourish, unhindered and unafraid, and you will become unshakeable at your core.

Once your healing has occurred, then added spa days, golfing days, beach days etc., are just the added joys of celebrating your amazing soul because, you have loved yourself enough to become whole once again.

This is a life-long process because life continues to throw us curve balls to face with truth and to heal from. But as you continue this journey, your life will flourish into the energetic frequencies that can literally change the world. Your own healing catapults a frequency of healing and wholeness back into the broken parts of the this world.

The greatest form of self-love is facing your dramas and traumas so you can become whole.

We are here to accompany you on your journey of self love and transformation.

-Soulful Wellness

Inner & Outer Worlds

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We all exist within inner and outer worlds.

The inner world is where our deepest thoughts, emotions, experiences, energies, and gut feelings reside. The innermost place is where we hide and aren’t always honest to others about ourselves. This hidden honesty can be due to a myriad of reasons, ranging from being fearful of being misunderstood and our deepest truths not being heard, to fear of getting into an argument, to fear of being rejected or abandoned.

The outside world is where we normally display ourselves for others’ benefit. We will put a smile on our face and act as if everything is good but we are simply portraying what we imagine how others would like us to be.

Inner and outer worlds collide because we create a situations where they do not align. We have a churning on the inside which is not shared with the outside so our truths are buried and go unheard. This creates a reality of loneliness, isolation, and depression. It can also result in distrust within all relationships, especially the ones that are the closest to us and which are meant to be complete with meaningful connection and fulfillment.

The following is an example of how the inner world doesn’t match the outer world:

In horse therapy with an abusive relationship survivor, the person may be asked something from the previous relationship or about the abuse which creates a tension and dread within their inner world and core emotion. But, when the survivor goes to approach the horse, she puts a smile on her face and speaks gently. The horse will stomp, toss it’s head and back away from her. WHY? The horse has a sixth sense regarding the emotions at the inner core of a person and knows that what she is presenting on the outside does not match on any level with what is happening internally. The horse sees this as a dangerous and untrustworthy situation, possibly even nipping and trying to bite the person if they get to close.

However, if the rider let’s the outside world reflect her internal world by acknowledging her authentic feelings by allowing tears to flow or expressing her anger, (whatever the true core emotion is), the horse will stand silently and allow her to approach. It will lower it’s head, lick it’s lips and stop dancing around. WHY? The person’s inner world is fully manifested into the outer world and it is finally aligning with truth. There is no information that it is at odds with the other, and the horse can trust the information it is receiving as honest, truthful and trustworthy.

We as humans need to build the same amount of trust within our relationships and friendships. It is imperative that we be honest with our inner worlds so they can be reflected in our outer worlds, thus building a very firm foundation of trust.

If we are in situations or around people where we cannot have full trust or we become fearful of the result of our honesty, we are presented with an area to heal through coaching. Coming out of abusive circumstances where honesty was not possible, it can take time to heal in order to learn to trust ourselves and those we CHOOSE to have within our inner circle. Coaching has a crucial part to play in the healing process.

Our inner worlds will always manifest into our outer worlds. Whether that is through anger, depression, moodiness, irritability etc. Most people will deny their inner feelings until the somatic tension becomes so extreme that it finally expresses itself, often resulting in self-destructive ways, and deeply affecting others around them.

Remember: we are designed for deep soulful connections but the only way to be truly seen, heard and validated is by having the courage and authenticity to be honest about our inner worlds. Doing this will allow our true relationships, friendships and acquaintances to thrive and grow to a place where we feel supported, fully seen, and loved for the amazing souls we are.

Our inner worlds are everything that we truly are and it is supposed to be valued and appreciated for its vastness of being, for it’s timeless wisdom and truth. Share your inner world to create a healthier and more fulfilling life.

We are here if you need any help with combining your worlds for your most authentic self.

-Soulful Wellness

Energetic Influences Around

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As we go about our days, there is a constant companion surrounding us: ENERGY. All energy has the potential to uplift or drain us, depending on our awareness. It is the foundation of our mindset and the key to how we create wellbeing. There are two types of energy that drive every thought, action, situation, and experience. Understanding and mastering these help us to elevate and transform our lives.

CATABOLIC Energy – This energy helps us to combat whatever stressors we perceive to be a threat. It is very necessary in life and death situations as it provides the burst of adrenaline and cortisol needed for survival. It’s great for the short term but if held for a long time, it is destructive and causes depression, victimhood, low frequencies, little to no faith, and fear, thus causing us to lose momentum and inspiration for life.

ANABOLIC Energy – This type of energy accesses the highest frequencies of being. It is the catalyst for healing, growth, love, authenticity and intuition. Anabolic energy is where our compassion, empathy, creative inspiration, and sustainable positive results reside. It is a constructive and expanding energy, moving us forward in a powerful and productive way. Our interactions with others are enhanced as it provides the absolute passion for life. We embody a strong sense of self and a complete experience in the present moment. This is where the full power of faith dwells.

When we recognize how we exist within these energetic influences, the whole world will open up for us.
What are the triggers that place you within catabolic energy? What circumstances create anabolic energy for you?

Having a Life Coach is valuable as it pinpoints where these different energies exist in your life and demonstrates how to consciously choose in all situations which one you desire to embrace. You become a master of your own energy and life and no longer react to circumstances but rather have the ability to choose correctly for your ultimate fulfillment and wellbeing.

  • Soulful Wellness

Emanate Your Divine Core

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We come into this life with certain strengths, talents, and giftings. We are given these to sustain us through the journey of life and also to share with the world around us. Our soul brings frequencies that help heal and inspire others.

As we start our journey of life, we can go through a series of intense life-altering experiences and we become really good at masking our divine core in order to survive. We place layers and layers of traumas, betrayals, limiting beliefs, and fears over the top of our divine core. We start to believe these negatives are who we really are.

In coaching we are here to challenge that mindset. Feeling safe to embody your divine core, first for yourself and then to the world, is of vital importance.

The greatest gift you can give yourself is having the courage to transform the negatives that have impacted your life and to start living unapologetically from your divine core. This place of existence has freedom, joy, passion, purpose and sustainability. As you learn to live from an energetic and conscious place of being, and the world can experience the divine gift that you truly are.

What would change in your life if you lived from this state of being?

Go through your day and be aware of the places you are hiding and masking who you really are, and the places you are emanating your divine core. What defines the different experiences?

Have the courage to give yourself and others the gift of your divine essence.

-Soulful Wellness

Standards VS Boundaries

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The questionof standards versus boundaries comes up quite frequently in coaching. When you are about to set a higher standard for your life or firmer boundaries, these two words become very important. Why? Because the energy you want to embody while you set the higher standard or new boundary is going to dictate if it is sustainable.

When you think of the word “boundary” what immediately comes to mind? Most would typically respond with, “It keeps something out, or prevents something bad from happening.”

The energy this word embodies usually has people tensing up and thinking that they have to implement their new boundary with force. They have to make sure that the new boundary isn’t disrespected. This usually brings up a lot of anxiety on how they will implement these changes with their loved ones and others in their life.

Now, when you think of the word “standard” what immediately comes to mind? Most respond with, “A standard of excellence, what is acceptable or of high value.

This is something that they can be in control of. For example; if we speak about the standards by which they treat other people, there is a sense of pride and calmness that starts to radiate from them. They are in complete control of how they do their job, how they take care of their family, maintain their home, etc., all of which exists within their own realm of control and influence. A standard is something that is put into action.

If you have a friend who is constantly negative and drains your energy every time you get together and if this is not the standard for friendships in your life, you then have a choice with where that friend exists in your life. You can decide in what situations you see this friend and the duration for the interaction with them.

The wonderful thing with standards is this is not something you have to force onto others. This is a standard for living for your own life. When your standards are energetically in alignment for your highest good, then you don’t have to argue, strive, or force others to acknowledge them. You just have to live them. As you live them, you will see others rise up to that energy of being. For those that cannot, then you can decide what role if any they have in your life.

Think of your standards of excellence you embody and where those are not being met in your life. Where do you sacrifice your own standards of excellence for keeping the peace? If you stayed firmly rooted in your standards what would happen? Standards are lived with calm and firm integrity. A standard by definition is a model of authority or excellence. If you have to implement a really firm boundary then it is always first established with a standard for your life. This creates sustainable change and success.

A good exercise is writing out your standards of being and then start to implement them with the energy of excellence. Then watch how your life will transform into a state of flow rather than strife.

Have a beautiful day and reach out to us if you would like to create new standards in your life.

-Soulful Wellness